unexpected turn of event

Today was unexpected...
It all happened in the morning at 7 am.. just a passing remark to get a chinese traditional costume.. gab coincidentally also will be heading towards the town direction... so end up leaving skool at 3 plus to go to town in search of the costume....

Thankfully JC was with me:) She is so patient and helpful!! though she is coughing quite badly, we had fun!! We went to centrepoint thinking OG is inside.. but no!! we end up going into robinson... ex sia!! then we went to OG (the next building) .. ex!! not worth it.. so we decided to go chinatown..we walked down towards PS then there are small shops below and found a shop called CHarms of Asia.. WA LA!! I got my costume!! at a price of 45 bucks.... Thank god!! coz if go chinatown will be damn far...

Then we decided to head towards cine coz our friend addy was there to cut his hair... brought JC to Orchard central to take the long escalator.... initially the first one she was okay... the second escalator was short but came to the third one... she was a bit frightened! i was scared that she will cry coz we can;t possibly turn back rite... hehhehhe but she is damn farni man!!! so cute!!
We didn't take the fourth one up to the roof top coz she is too afraid... This is call nothing better to do....

Then we went to MOS awhile and made our way to Bishan popular... Wah lao the train is like super crowded!! coz tehre was a delay and everything... DAmn packed!!!!!!!!!! it has been such a long time since i squeezed in the packed train... maybe the first sem of NIE tat period... as some of u all noe.. i can't really balance and clumsy and i carry my laptop.... haiyo... thank god with friends... if i am alone i guess i would be stepping on ppl feet... fell down... or grab a stranger shoulder... there was a time when i actually held a lady hand to prevent myself from falling... so embarassing... she was like so shocked but thank god she is understanding...so next time onwards no taking train during peak hour!!! hahhahahahx

Going to J8 scares me initially coz i dun want to bump into him or his family members or neighbours... but luckily didn't... and bishan popular sux!!! they dun even have the coloured writing pads and they didn't sell files in bundles... wat nonsense!!

we took cab home... send jc off first and then me... went home eat dinner and off to northpoint popular... a better place to shop...

quite an adventurous day for me.. going to so many places on a working MONDAY!!

u noe wat is my initial plan???
-stay in skool till late to finish up my work!! ahhahahha

okay tat's all...
now back to work after having so much fun :)

cold weather

It is very cold today. Has been raining since like early in the morning till now... wow! weird weather...

Yesterday had weird dream.. super weird dream.. and sometimes dream can be so real... i experienced it last nite...

Now i feel like going swensen to eat my coit tower!!! anyone??? will disturb my friends to go out with me.. hahhahha!!!

My friend has a problem.. so obvious larh.. but she didn't want to tell us... we can be considered quite close but not close like how me and darsha is lah.. i respect her decision by not telling us or me but it is like she is so affected by it.. she felt disturbed... she is tat kind i think that like to keep things to herself....
Aniwae ya sometimes i felt like i am the one that made her sad or down but i can't figure out what i did u see... as far as i noe she is okay with me... aiyah maybe some ppl like tat...
I just pray that she will be alrite and hopefully she will find a solution to her problem...

For me if i am angry at someone i will not talk to the person but i will hint or tell them at a later day that i am angry at them.. hehhehe so that they are guilty....if i am jealous or disappointed at someone i might do the same... i may blog about it.... i used to keep everything to myself but i have learnt that it is tooo painful... so i learnt to open up when i am in jc i think... ya felt better and more confident... but i understand somethings u just have to keep to yourself to avoid trouble or a messy situation.. that is why darsha is always there for me though sometimes i can be angry at her.. but she will noe of course... hhahhaha.... so ya anything about me..my problem.. my crazy crushes.. my love ..she will know about it...it is good to have a bestfriiend who does not work at the same workplace or study at the same skool... more things to talk about and more interesting.... remember the previous post about the mistake i made... she knows it too.. i tried to hide it from her but it was too painful.. i used to cry myself to sleep when experiencing that but after sharing the problem... half the burden is like gone!! hahhaax.. a bestfriend i think is important! so hu is your bestfriend???

Went to accompany my mom to chong pang market and then off to skool to get some work done which i did but i can't photocopy!!!!

Aniwae ya the outing is cancelled.. and i have a sian saturday!! It is also good coz i got loads of work to finish... but quite sad to spend your weekend working :( But it is okay.. i want to enjoy the CNY weekend!!!! luckily during work just now got jonathan.. got some form of entertainment... hahahhah

So after werk.. i drop ms patma and crazy jonathan at NP and i drove to CWP! Pampering myself by going to those cute cute store to get cute cute stuff... it has been a while since i go shopping alone and pamper myself :) then had a long drive to calm my mind...

Been thinking and recently found out wat ppl think of me.. hahahhaa
i have laughing gas in me.. happy... heck care... blur... innocent?????? hahhaaha! maybe??? i used to be bad..i did alot of mistakes and i think no matter how much i try to do good i dun think i can cover up my bad deeds... and onlee now i realise that God is punishing me slowly because of the mistakes i made... i tried to forget about it but it will just haunt me tat kind... it will most likely affect my future....

There was once when i felt very confused... dunnoe wat to do... but then i realised that i just go with the flow...but guess wat wrong path.. it was too late to turn back at that time...if i had just take a few moment to think practically.. i won't leave with this regret for my entire life... So for ppl out there... if u noe that u r doing a wrong thing try to stop a while and think whther it is worth it to do it...

ANyhow why dwell in the past mistakes rite... i will try to be good!

Now watching you're beautiful again... wah... yonghwa damn hot!! hahhaha why in korean movies there will be a damn nice and gentleman guy but the girl always fall for the bad ones... haiz.. and the sad thing i always like the nice guys and end up crying at the end of the drama coz the nice guy didn't end up with the girl..... stupid girl!!!

shall continue watching my yonghwa (the mr nice guy)!!!

Turn out good today!!! need to share with u guys!!!

Went out to eat swensen with ms yani, razinah and halawah....
Had fun!!! and guess wat halawah showed me her friend... wahdu!! so cute with dimples!!! hope i have a chance!!!!! :) hehehhe...
Ya tat's all.. hhahaha his smile is just so wow!!!!! imagine i see him real life.. lagi.. hahahhahha...

okay enuff fazilah.. (before i get carried away and being so excited!!)

I told u all already...a smile can make one's heart melt!!!! hahahahha

ADIOS!!

bluek

Exhaustion!!

Yesterday was fun!! had dinner with mrs fahmy mdm saedah nisa reduan and zaki at jln kayu..tohirah...

Again surrounded by funny ppl... imagine we all squeezed in a hyundai getz!!! rabak!!! hahahaha... been laughing and laughing sia.. but towards the end the stupid guy have to tell ghost stories!!! so i made him accompany me to meet up with my friend a while and we went home... one of the stories really freak me out!!!
Then reached home nearly 10 plus...washed up and my adik forced me to watch oh my skool with her coz she was scared!!! but okay lah it was funny... so i was laughing again and forgotten abt the scary stories... slept about one pluz... didn't go online :(

aniwae ya tat is why i think i felt a bti tired and lazy to do aanything but deadline tml for setting paper!!!! die arh!!! still haven start!!! will confirm burnt midnite oil coz this kind of thing is important!!!! guess i need triple shots man to keep me awake!!!

so many things in my mind right now... feels like i just want to run away somewhere and leave all my things and work behind....and return when i am ready to face the world again.... gosh wish we can be like tat....

suddenly i feel like going to yishun dam tonite and be alone for sometime!!!! maybe i should.. no i will... the plan for tonite is to be with myself :) no friends and family

confused.

Is it you??????
Hope not... very complicated... got headache already thinking about it...

Aniwae ya had a long day.... headache... and piles to mark!! nampaknyer pukul 7 lah i going home...

listening to bollywood songs..hopefuully my headache will be gone soon... i am hungry also.... haiz... dinner anyone??? hahhahax.. going to find a dinner partner soon!!!
now raining cats and dogs...

Okay i really need to focus man!! a big challenge coming and i can do it man!! really need the support of my colleagues and friends!! :)


**** please show me your smile again!! hehe!!

drowning

Listening to Lady GAGA!! long time never here her songs!!

Okay let's see... recently have an emotional outburst... i am good now!!!
back to myself again~!

last nite...met bestie... (who else can i hang out with except for her..jamilah and the SMSS girls and sometimes the crazy ppl)
I actually dressed up abit.. and ya check out few guys..but guess wat... i attract the wrong onez!!! they are like wat.. 18 and 19?? doubt they did their ns already.... HAIZ!!!!
Aniwae we went to have dinner at swensen CWP...i was really crazy coz i had flu and cough... but alhamdulilah i felt better today!! weee~!

I really think time heals everything except for my late grandpa case of course!! u noe when i really think about the incident again and again.. i can't forgive myself yet and i really miss him so much!!! if i ever had a chance to turn back the time i would have called an ambulance and scold the nurses Fuck U and bitches for not caring about my grandpa!! okay ya.. cool down..it was 7-8 yrs ago... oh ya speaking of which.. i have not gone to the cemetery yet... haiz... miss u grandpa!

let see today was kinda tiring... long day.. remedial and clearing my messy table... JC was not around and no mood to stay so late so called mom and she fetch me :) tml CCA... mr ashari not in singapore... left mdm juliana me hazel and mr guna... how to handle like so many kidz...but i guess i can do it!!! and there is staff meeting!!!! shit man.... tml will be super long day!!

i truly believe that someone's smile can actually brighten up someone's day without tat someone's knowing!!! coz your smile brighten up my day!! *twix*

*feeling quite attached to Prince (Turtle)... sorry elmo!! sorry Mojo! hehe!
a brief intro abt my soft toys... i got a tiger.. quite big.. my fav!! mom bought it from the zoo... he is "gaurding" my room and my printer!! hahhha... elmo is a small.. got it from my ex... Mojo is a monkey... my smss girls bought it for me... i love it coz it is super soft... i used to hav a taz devil..(my buddy win it for me... but lost touch with him) my mom dun like it so i had to throw it away,,, haiz.. i had a panda too... but dunnow where it gone too....i can get emotionally attached to a soft if it has a significant :)

have i crap enuff???? waka waka eh eh!

Is it just me!!

today was nonsense! end up didn't go my nenek's place...
no celebration... except the cupcakes that my sis bought me.. ( so sweet of her!)
i expected atleast a proper celebration (gosh.. why do i think of tat in the first place)

Morning woke up..help mom
Then at 11 drive my sis to her friend's place for the cupcake collection
then went home.. look at the cakes and look so yummy so each of us take one.. then my mom busy cooking... my dad was asleep...so i was kind of sad..so i took a nap and then wake up eat late lunch and my dad,my mom and my elder sis went to grandma's place... i can't go coz i have soome work to finish up then at nite i went tuition and lepak alone outside at wdland to clear my mind..so ya... and as usual they just gave me money.... i noe i may sound selfish but i expect a little more love from them... i am thankful that there is cake and they gave me cash but something is missing....
used to be like a mini celebration.. alot of food and a gathering but no!!!
haiz... feeling lonely again.. when i think of it i realize that it was my ex who used to shower me with love... talk to me when i am bored... eat dinner together and love me though i always mistreat him.... and i thought he is overdoing it... as i reflect back i think i am not used to having ppl who loves me..maybe they dun really love me tat's why....

But i think i did the right thing... he deserve someone better who appreciates him and his love.. unlike me.. i am a bad girl!! i can be unappreciative and too easy going... damn me!!

yesterday was good... my cousin is here for a few weeks before she return to Sydney... went shopping and lots of eating...

dunnoe whether to say it here but i can go crazy if i think about it!!!

What shall i do next:
-just keep on working...
-to be more sensible!!
-i shall not look for love coz i sux at it.... (have i told u guys about me making the first move and the guy reject me!! wah lau!! wat was i thinking!! and how my date goes... aiyoh.. screwed!!)

Oh and my conversation with my mom:

Mom: mak want to buy a bigger car maybe in 5 years time when u guys dah kahwin

Me: HAHAHA! agaknyer belum..mak carikan lah for me

Mom: (nearly choked)

Me: Ia (i call myself tat) dun mind arranged marriage.. malas nak cari and semue dun want me...

MOm just luff as if it was a joke......
i can' imagine myself being married by the way....

Gd nitez!! tired of typing...
i foresee a very hectic weeek... no time to emo already....

*i have a new crush~!* his smile is gorgeous and my heart melts... seeing him just make me happy for the whole day or maybe weeks or months!!! hahhhahaha will confess to u one day!!(macam real onlee....)

wat a burfdae!

Today was fantastic! actuallie initially i was freaking busy and my class gave me problems again.. nothing new... then i read all the wishes from the facebook..it cheered me up a little... so touching!!

And addy came down to skool and bought for me a small cake!!! so sweet of him!!! Felt so toouched because i have this thingy about ppl buying me stuff especially cake or something.. coz there was a period of time whereby my family didn't want to celebrate... i was quite pissed and they ask me to buy my own birthday cake.. so after that year... i think i was in 1st 3 mths in MI...then after tat i dun really bother because i always celebrate my bestie burfday on the 19th... so ya one day before mine.. so i am happier celebrating her burfdae than mine... I still remembered on her 21st burfdae party... 12 am she and our common friends bought me a small cake and surprised me!! i teared! hehehe
Then in NIE, my dear friend syahman bought me a mini cake in NIE for my 22nd burfdae.. i was touched!!!! it is rare for me.... usually i will buy for ppl.. hardly ppl celebrate for me... but after 21st burfdae.. things changed...
then my 23rd..my NIE friends made my day!! So ya and today addy bought a cake... i feel so blessed having friends like them.. i mean i am not used to this attention at all... coz it has always been my bestfriend in the spotlight...she will have a huge party or her group of friends throw a party for her...and i will just be the extra... okay enuff i think i am happier now....

Tml going out with my Xishan teachers.. they call it the family.., hahahah funny bunch of ppl.. confirm gerek and i will sure luff my arse out....hanging out wit them is just like u forget abt the world and just be NONSENSICAL!!!

Enuff of blogging... gonna sleep!! oh ya forgotten to write.. we will be going to my nenek place this sunday to just eat and gather for my burfdae :)

settling

Happy New Year!! Hahahax. A bit the late.

I am dead bored!!! gonna finish my work soon... thought of going out with my sister but both of them are down with flu... should i go for a ride alone???? sianz...
Ya actually wanted to blog because of this...should i lepak alone again at yishun dam... no way!! bring back the stupid memories with him!! shuckz!!!

Okay updatez again:
-I am still single....
-Went out on hopeless date!
-Went KL with my new found friends (damn syiok except that i have my menses and it kind of sux! leceh!)
-my work is slowly piling

Finally i told my mom about my break up.... surprisingly she didn't shout at me!!!
coz i got my sisters to back me up... instead they pitied me and thought that i am under depression... i told them i was okay and happy but they think that i was hiding my sorrows!!! wat the hell!!! but actually coz i am so used being with him that now i feel alone suddenly especially after school when we used to have dinners together and fetching me back from tuition at night...oh wat the hell!!! tat's why i go on dates to 4get him!!! shooo!! shooo!!! but semue tak menjadi...


ANiwae met up with bestie last Friday... finally had a chance to sit down and talked... i let out the 2nd biggest secret to her!! hehhehex... MC-on-CM!! I always thought there I would have no secret in my life... but i do!! 2 of them of which only my bestie and my adek noes..i will be dead if it is leak out that kind.... weee~~!!!

okay i think i am abit hyper coz i dip the pisang goreng in sugar....

CM!!!

Looking forward to CNY hols!!! and so not looking forward to my burfday coz i am getting older!!! 24 leh!!!! but i can't wait to go out with the smss gurlz!!! and also the CUPs (My New Group of friends at work)...

I think i will talk about them here since i have not mention anything about them... okay... my new friends are addy, gabriel, mabel,jolene, reduan and gaya... they never fail to make me luff!!! i think if i didn't noe them i woould be in my own serious world... they are super funny and craziest ppl i ever met!!! kinda miss them coz we spent the 1st and 2nd week weekends together...with them around i totally forget about him and i not feeling kind of alone anymore...

Oh ya the smss gurlz wantd to meet up and we will be wearing our sec uniform!! how cool is that!!! hahahahx... another crazy bunch... where we can talk GIRLS stuffz!!!! gerek!

Missing my NIE friends suddenly...

Suddenly now me so emotional...

It's time for me to delete all our photos together and start moving on...damn i feel like tearing... no never cry for a guy who is not worth your tear!!! AARRRGGHH!!!! okay much better... ya i gonna be strong!!!! Laughter is the best medicine!!