Is it just me!!

today was nonsense! end up didn't go my nenek's place...
no celebration... except the cupcakes that my sis bought me.. ( so sweet of her!)
i expected atleast a proper celebration (gosh.. why do i think of tat in the first place)

Morning woke up..help mom
Then at 11 drive my sis to her friend's place for the cupcake collection
then went home.. look at the cakes and look so yummy so each of us take one.. then my mom busy cooking... my dad was asleep...so i was kind of sad..so i took a nap and then wake up eat late lunch and my dad,my mom and my elder sis went to grandma's place... i can't go coz i have soome work to finish up then at nite i went tuition and lepak alone outside at wdland to clear my mind..so ya... and as usual they just gave me money.... i noe i may sound selfish but i expect a little more love from them... i am thankful that there is cake and they gave me cash but something is missing....
used to be like a mini celebration.. alot of food and a gathering but no!!!
haiz... feeling lonely again.. when i think of it i realize that it was my ex who used to shower me with love... talk to me when i am bored... eat dinner together and love me though i always mistreat him.... and i thought he is overdoing it... as i reflect back i think i am not used to having ppl who loves me..maybe they dun really love me tat's why....

But i think i did the right thing... he deserve someone better who appreciates him and his love.. unlike me.. i am a bad girl!! i can be unappreciative and too easy going... damn me!!

yesterday was good... my cousin is here for a few weeks before she return to Sydney... went shopping and lots of eating...

dunnoe whether to say it here but i can go crazy if i think about it!!!

What shall i do next:
-just keep on working...
-to be more sensible!!
-i shall not look for love coz i sux at it.... (have i told u guys about me making the first move and the guy reject me!! wah lau!! wat was i thinking!! and how my date goes... aiyoh.. screwed!!)

Oh and my conversation with my mom:

Mom: mak want to buy a bigger car maybe in 5 years time when u guys dah kahwin

Me: HAHAHA! agaknyer belum..mak carikan lah for me

Mom: (nearly choked)

Me: Ia (i call myself tat) dun mind arranged marriage.. malas nak cari and semue dun want me...

MOm just luff as if it was a joke......
i can' imagine myself being married by the way....

Gd nitez!! tired of typing...
i foresee a very hectic weeek... no time to emo already....

*i have a new crush~!* his smile is gorgeous and my heart melts... seeing him just make me happy for the whole day or maybe weeks or months!!! hahhhahaha will confess to u one day!!(macam real onlee....)