6 days

6 days...fantasy vs reality

Many unexpected things happen...
from swearing and cursing to happiness and then finally everything gone... my hopes..my supposedly happy life.. my motivation.. all go down the drain....

that 3 hours on the 5th day just make me feel like i am a loser again.. stupid naive fool!
i took 1 year plus to finally overcome the obstacle but it just take 3 hours to start back at square 1... so many things to fight for in my life right now... i am tired and exhausted...

SO many thoughts running through my mind... to sum up FML!!!

mood: 100% tired.. 100% upset... 100% hurt...

crazy me!

let's see... been watching movies all the way... at NP! left onlee the dylan show thingy.. haiz...but i watch with fantastic people! :) Halawah is now in cameron highlands.. haiz miss her.. but she will be back tml!!

Okay last entry i mention a few things i wanna do... so far... all i did was spending time with myself... watch korean dramas (instead of comedies..) the addiction is bad... now watching like 3 dramas... finallie found a way to let go of those thoughts and getting over you for once!!! throw darts?? hmmm haven had the opportunity.. hahhaha did update my diary.. i still sleep alot and not so much day dreaming now.... and i go for short drives... hehehehe..

All i want now is inner peace!!(inspired by kungfu panda 2)
I want to get rid of all my old thoughts and sad memories..i want to have a peaceful life so that i can achieve whatever i want...

ANiwae looking forward to shah's wedding this weekend!!! confirm gerek!!! so excited for him!!! :P finallie get to meet my nie mates again!! :) it has been a while since i saw shidi... zaid... raniah.. miss u guys!!

have u ever feel that there is something poking your heart??? it started a few weeks ago ever since that nite... it's like i was so upset that my heart literally felt very painful...felt as if kena poke or somthing.. happen once in a while if i am deeply depressed... want to talk to my mom abt this but i guess better not... she will ignore them aniwae.... initially was scary..i thought i was gg to die!! ahhahahah but it fades off... my depression days will soon be over... all will be well in term 3!!! (I hope!)

i have 6 more months to make 2011 the best year of my life!!! I can do it!!! coz life is short... u got to do the best in everything u do!! :)

Slowly accepting defeat.. but in TERM 3 i will do it!! i shall dedicate 100% on my work and cca and studies!! SEM 1 have a lot of distractions and uncertainties.. I guess it was not-so-nice period for me...

Been listening to rihanna version of love the way u lie...

Loving it...


On the first page of our story

The future seemed so bright

Then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised

Even angels have their wicked schemes

And you take that to new extremes

But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind

Now there's gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war, you'll always win
Even when I'm right'
Cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied

Love these two parts!!


Now in school.. finding for mood to tidy up my epms..dunnoe where to go and wat to do....
I guess i will head down to some quiet place to finish up my epms...later on i will have tuition and maybe after that i will continue to do my epms... ya i noe me no life...



Hmmmmph.. still thinking whether i should embark on a project,... will it be too taxing on me???? will see how... keeping in view....

Things i need to do now to keep my mind at peace and stable:

1. spent time with myself...

2. watching comedies...

3. throw darts at your face! wAHAHAHAHAHHAX evil me!!

4. update my diary!!!

5. no sleeping and dreaming that much!! come back to reality!!

6. Go for a long drive!!