Camping

In school rite now.. just helping out at the student leadership camp...
Wanted to sleep with the girls in the library but it is way too cold and my "daughter" is there!! aiyoh!!!

SO ya here i am in school... unplanned for actuallie...

SO far so good... my problem thingy slowly disappearing because i have learn to IGNORE bad behaviours!! hahahhah!! or ignoring unpleasant things.. i will continue to do that and i will be on my happiness track once again!!! :)

hmmm... i am very happy coz i bought 2 skirts and 4 tee!! yahoo!! but all the going-out clothes... :) distressing myself maybe... hahhaha

Current mood: confuse 90% happy 50% sad 10%

Yesterday nite was fun!! Sattish and Malini made my day... went to have dessert at cafe cartel after the "tuition" session... ever since that incident nothing seems right...today nothing to look forward too... hal and yani went to the traffic thingy... and i have to wait till 3 for the briefing till 430..after which waiting for them to eat after tat!!!

in school...it is MISERABLE!!! only relying on after school hours to keep myself happy and have a social life... the onlee way to escape from that stupid thingy!! AAARRRCGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

m now moulding my strength again...

aniwae BAGUS coming to singapore!!! my indon friend... it has been 6-7 yrs since we saw each other!!! tak sempat to say gdbye to him at the airport when i went to indon... :(

okay bye!! gonna relaxed myself and free my mind of the problem before i start my work :)

Updated my diary... shed a few tears while writing and listening to emo songs...i realise my diary cover is peeling off... it is 3 yrs old arealdy.... shedding itz skin.... i have yet to give the 'black feather' to my mr right!

9 days since i blog and many things happened... my happiness reached its peak and it came crushing down...

When i am alone the pictures in my mind kept on playing and it really made me depressed... many thoughts runnng through my mind... and the more i analyse and be practical.. the more pain i feel...

I just wish i could read your thoughts...

Now it is the moment whereby i am back to my "TAT" self... hopefully my colleagues won't notice if not i hav no explanation to tell them coz i can't bring myself to tell them.. it's my own mess u see... no mood to eat.. but i am hungry now... didn't LOL... even though i watch comedy show..but i want to luff! the only thing that i can do rite now is to listen to mar jawan song ....

praying for strength.... both emotionally and mentally...

CURRENT MOOD: 101% depressed..

Prefer to be alone....(locking myself in the room now).....

Losing appetite to eat :(
finallie told my kakak abt my so-called "problem" and she gave me a definite answer confidently... 'Forget it lah'.. finally a frank answer.... It's like a wake up call for me..and ya tat is what i will do..
SO now at a recovery phase and it sucks to be in this position...but life has to go on with or without u...

Mother's day today.. I Love you MUMMY even though u are super duper ultra fierce and sometimes not understanding and unreasonable and yaada yaada yaaada... but ya i love you still :P

Finallie all the politics are over.... PAP still in power... now trying to look at the positive side..they will help to build singapore to a better future... i just dun want our country to be like thailand...riots and chaos everywhere... or some parts of india where there is corruption....

Emo-ing!

I have seen and heard enuff from u...
I have given enuff to u....
I tried my very best but it does not matter rite....
My efforts were not appreciated...
Yet u try to push me away...far away... i dunnoe whether u meant it.. i am tired trying to understand what u want from me...and yes slowly i will disappear from you (that is what u want right????)..not to worry..only time will tell..

From now on i am making my own decisions even though u like it or not....i will be brave facing all the consequences....as long as i now my decisions make me happy!! I dun mean to hurt you but i can't stand it if i am unhappy...hope u realise it soon....

But whatever happens i appreciate wat u have done for me and i still loves you! :P i just want to be happie...

The week was full of ups and downs.. mostly downs... really drained me out... both physically and mentally.... gosh!!! just felt like giving up!! esp that FRIDAY!! my mind was BLANK!! torturous week i would say... but i had a good end coz went to eat at nabinz with red..hal .. karliana..nisa ..saedah and rita! then off we got to karaoke.. but i could not take it.. i slept!! hahhahax.. thought i could tahan but i guess i had a bad friday! and i actually want to back out but they are very enthu so ya no heart to back out also.... imagine if i dun have such superb colleagues which i can call friends... i would just die!! seriously DIE!!

Yesterday went to bugis again but with my aunt and mom and ran some errands. today was super boring... but i pamper myself and bought some computer stuff and ear piece and went northpoint a while... then at nite wanted to watch the rally but toooo many ppl.. ended up in JB..whahahaha... drove to JB and pump petrol... hahhahah!! just gotten back.... jam on the way home....

PS: nampaknyer misi ini semakin rumit...tidak mempunyai byk waktu lagi...mcm mahu putus harapan....