There is always a reason behind someone u meet. I am a true believer of that. Sometimes u can see the reasonings early but sometimes it took mths or even yrs.
People u meet or friends you make teaches us lessons along the ways. Some of the lessons can be torturing (like your most dislike subject in school like history and literature!) or some are happy ones that motivates u to continue learning (like for me PE lessons and math lessons )
And there is someone who just came into my life.. not someone new.. met after nearly a decade.. pulling me away from this agony and mess... really thankful for this person and hope we wont go separate ways again... for the first time ever i felt like there is a solution to my problem... thank u from the bottom of my heart my hero :)
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
A hero. My hero.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
The call
It was an unexpected call.
Remember that girl. She managed to let go everything but that stupid call from him has really made her broken again.
She decided to agree in meetin him to settle everything. Alcohol has a different plan for them.
That moment all she wanted was him. She wished that night will never end. She was gg all out and make the most of it.
She did. She had fun. She learnt more abt this character. No hanky panky and tats what she hates remember. If any guy was to be close to her and try to take advantage, she would have easily walked away. But this guy for the second time still knows his boundary and that wat drives her mad! Nobody would believed her but tats how it was. That is why it is difficult for her.
All good things have to come to an end. On the way home, she tried so hard to remember every single moment with him because memories are the onlee ones that she can hold onto.
So whats the outcome ppl? Yep as expected the guy is contactin her but she has to be the strong one to pull away from him. Ignorin his texts and calls. Thats the best but the hardest thing to do.
Lets hope she remains strong. Furthermore.she has super understanding and supportive friends. But there is so.much that we can do.
Thursday, December 1, 2016
The pain is real
As she sat down on her bed.. wild thoughts came into her mind
What if she will be alone for the rest of her life. Her siblings will get married and she will be a burden to her parents.
People admire her as she was a strong single and independent lady but like the rest she needs someone to be there for her and tell her how beautiful she is... assure her that things will be alright... listen to her complains and whines... and cuddle her to sleep... but she was scared.
She always wanted love and attention but the people around her kept showin that love afterall is not as beautiful as it may seems. It scares her. It has been years and she realized that love does not exist except for your parents love which in some cases parents abandon children too.
Love is just an illusion.
She has always been confused and she has kept assuring herself that everything will be fine as a single lady. She can live on her own to avoid unnecessary headaches and problems. She has been successful in doing that i must say.
But there are times that she will just break down at night alone in her room craving for the love that she thinks she does not believe in.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Untold story of unrequited love
Tarikhnya dua puluh tujuh hari bulan november. Jam tujuh pagi. That was the exact timin she will not wish to forget.
There were so many functions that they actually went for together since last year but the girl failed to spot him. They have crossed paths but she failed to see him. He was one of the hottest dressed guy in the party but she still failed to notice him.
She finally noticed him when she saw him cleanin while the rest of the guys were boozing and having fun. She saw him in his worst dress code but yet she was comfortable with him. he taught her smoking trick and keep her entertain when she felt that she was out of place. She thought she had make a new friend.
It was all good till she opened her eyes and saw his face. he was laying next to her.
As she opened her eyes she saw an innocent and sad face. She closed and opened her eyes again and the face was still there. Her heart raced. Wanting to turn away but there was something about that face.
She stared and saw many scars. She had a quick sly scanned on his arms too. She felt pitiful and sad but at the same time admired him for being able to get on with his life despite many challenges.
The only thing that she could do now to control her temptation; to cuddle, hug and tell him that everything will be alright and time will heal everything; was to shut her eyes. And so she did. She was afraid to turn away because she was still waiting for her heart to stop racing.
She was confused as it has been ages that her heart was void. He made her curious about him. She kept looking and observing the way he sleeps and making attempts to touch his scars on his face but she was strong enough to pull back her fingers.
He slept like a restless baby. Making sounds, hands moves about and kicking around. She patted his back so he could sleep better but again she was strong enough not to hug and cuddle him.
It was too much for her to handle so she tried to wake him up. It was difficult but he managed to open his eyes. She wanted to walk away from him but he asked her where she was gg and she finally felt weak as she knew that it will be her last time seeing his face. The last chance ever. She laid next to him and they started to just have safe conversations.
She had never felt this way before. It was like a dream she ever wanted. Just like those korean drama that she was addicted too. A moment together with someone who makes your heart races just laying next to each other and just talk. Nothin more nothin less.
It was enough for her even though it was for a short period of time less than 2 hours. The emotions she felt was something new. No word could decribed it.
What made this worst was that his amount of respech he had for her. He did not take advantage of her even though he was under influence of alcohol. That was went her walls around her heart came crashing down.
In matter of hours, both of them went separate ways and carried on with their lives as per normal. Guess what, the girl wasnt strong enough. she is facing tough times to get back into her normal usual self (she has taken 4 years to safeguard her heart) as she has given away a portion of her heart to him without realising it. She wanted to see him so badly but she knew it was impossible.
Time will heal her scar on her heart.