everything is changing

My illness is back.. Experience it before but this time worst... I am on the verge of breaking down.. no one understand how it feels but atleast my family and friends are there to distract and support me... Worst than last year... Whenever i want to be normal and start on a happie journey something will crop up... because of this i now realised and was reminded why i have to be independent and i shall not complicate my life and as far as possible i will remain single :( Haven told my bestie coz she is already sad without her bf around.. Dun want her to worry.. So far only my close friends at skool noes coz it is awkward and i felt so down :( haven told red fully yet.... But guys being guys they will not understand...One fine day lah after i see the doctor and confirm it again...wish i was normal and healthy :( so when i am down wit this thingy... I will choose to be alone and hoping someone will rescue me... Hahaaaha! Okay k lame i noe! Dunnoe why but i miss u! Hope everything will be back like how it was. But it is just a hope :|