Experience

Last night, I went to Insommia at CHIJMES with shida and cheryl.
It was an experience.

Initially I thought it would be like Indochin, chilling and abit of sing-a-long...But this place was crazy.... since i have never step into a club or a real pub... Some danced and some were practically sticking and rubbing each other..... SO GROoooooooSSsssss! it is okay if they are the whites..but they are the philippinos girls and ang moh guys...i can't take it...
Thankfully shida and cheryl were there.. they tried hard to block the view....

Throughout the 2 hours... i just look at the band members... dun dare to look around.... and my cranberry juice is so masam!!! I really like the male vocalist from the band.. IRWAN!!!

Hopefully i dun let shida or cheryl down coz i wasn't really myself in there... i am in a shock... and felt very uncomfortable... did not even check out the guys in there except for the band members and that is why i like IRWAN!! (i am his number 1 fan)

now if i want to see the band again, i have to go to that place!! hmmmmph.... maybe will go earlier and then go off before it get infested with those people.

:)

Never felt so exhausted before.

Since Tuesday till maybe today.. WORK-Dinner with colleagues and tuition,... reached home at 10 30-1045 depending on the bus arrival time... reached home ... and i will pengsan on the bed ... no energy to even change out of my clothes... and have to wake up at 5 15.

Sometimes i wonder how come my kakak can like go merayap after work and come back at 12 plus and still survive throughout the week.. maybe they are immuned to it..
Haiz...

Hopefully it ends today...coz my tuition kid is having his SA2 this week....

Atleast without tuition i can like be home by 8 or 9... interact with my sisters and dad... it has been a while since i ate dinner with them.....

Next week i shall be good :)

Vitamin C in school :)

Why play this game with me????
WHy me??

My History..
I hardly travel... furthest is Indon (school trip)...

Planning to:
-JB (CIP trip)
-Bali (wif friends)

Dilemma:
-STandby to go sweden for floorball..

Feeling mode:
-really down and feeling really bad....
-What if i can't go... everything burnt... hate it.....
-Why me??? (oh wait... coz i help out in floorball during practicum... NICEEEE...)

I didn't know that breaking up is damn tough.
I felt it was alright initially but some of my friends are not supportive of my decisions including my MOM!! WTFH!
They made me feel as if i am a bad evil bitch just because he is sweet and kind and all the sort that every girls want in a guy. But i am not like any girl!! I thought i did the right thing. I freed him so that some other girls can appreciate his lovable character.
What my colleague say is true. I will be affected by what people say. Since i was small i didn't really cared abt myself... i tend to follow others and take orders from them.. i am afraid to stand up for myself... finally i realise my weakness... This is the first time that i really made up my mind and do what i think is right for me.... and see what happen.. i end up hurting alot of ppl.. especially those i cared about... hurting him is one thing.... hurting his mom and dad and grandma and grandpa...i really can't take it.... i really missed them and they had actually become a tiny part of my life...
If you happen to read this... i hope u understand that i am doing it for your own good.... u deserve someone better who will appreciate you....
For me, i am not finding for mr Right anymore... all this love is seriously BULLSHIT!! it will just cause us pain...

-the guilt will not go away until i noe u r happy.... u will always be my friend....