First time ever I felt this way.
Knowing that you have to back off abit once your buddy found someone..
But it came abit too early..
I guess i wasnt ready for that change..
Nevertheless... i will try my best to adapt to the situation...

Change is the only thing that is permanent.

the night

The weekend was the craziest ever..
Didnt know what i was doing and why i did it...
Too many things happen at one time and i just go wit it...
A mistake? Aint sure about it...i was happy but there is a guilty feelin too..
There were too many emotions involved... didnt know how to handle them...
I should have taken a step back.. i didnt...

Haiz... religion above all i guess...

So gonna rectify watever it is... gonna be more focus and aware.. i am gonna take 2 steps back before making the right decision...

I miss my body lotion.. :(
Misplaced it...

totally forgotten about this avenue to rant all my sorrow, happiness,  frustrations and etc...
I remembered coz i updated my twitter and saw my long lost twin appeared..

Thing have changed... i had it hard... real hard... but i am really thankful to have such beautiful people around... i am 27 and i noe it is late..maybe too late but i guess things happen for a reason..

the mistake i made was to fall for a gay... thought he has changed but things got worst... bitches came into the pictures... no one noes the whole truth... tried to accept him and became his bestest friend but i guess i am not as important to him as his lover... i thought gays understand girls better...but they are just the same.. selfish and prioritise their other half.. he doesn't put himself in my shoes.. and watever i did for him was gone.. just because of his stupid posts in FB which degrade my family..

Its true when ppl say the closest and the most important person in your life will hurt u the most coz they noe where to hit u.... He went further and seek attention from my friends... and guess what i am all alone... doubting ppl and dunno hu to trust... no one is there for me.. but thanks to him.. i now know hu are the true ones... and hu are making use of u for watever reason.. i am so lazy to fight for them coz i rather spend time and put my energy to those who are always by my side and dun bother about the rest... i want to make him and the rest pay for it..but i am seriously letting karma do its job.. which so far is working bit by bit... i am tired... really tired...

It is difficult to move on but i guess time will heal everything...

So wat for me now... i realized my working place is just solely for working... and i love my kiddos... it is no place to forge friendships or any relationships... trust no one... i mean it... but if u r lucky which obviously i am not.. u can get your true love there and even bestfriend...

Right now i will just enjoy.. working on some of my goals.. and i will continue making my true friends happy coz they deserve it... i will do anything for them now coz they sacrifice their time to be with me when i am down and  they open my eyes to see things clearly...

actually Right now, i am suppose to study for my papers.. my last paper will be on Tuesday.. but hav no mood.. my study partner not here too...

okay lah will talk nonsense in my next post..

Another hit on the wall

Naive is the word.
My sister finally knocked some sense into me.
I can see things better now.
I have no idea what to do. To pretend that everything doesnt affect me (which is so damn not true! I am freaking hurt) or distance myself away from that cutey pie!
Haiz...
But yet again better now than later...the less hurt i feel...

Vitamin C

The sun is shining so brightly.
My body is so sticky.
My day end at 530pm in school.
My entire day will finish at 930pm.
I can do this!!

I will survive through this week with my vitamin C! No vitamin C i guess i will be zombified.
Aigoo!